Welcome Back

"Welcome back. Your dreams were your ticket out." - "Welcome Back" by John Sebastian

After seven months of silence, I think it's time to revive this blog! Life has thrown me some curveballs since I last posted, and I am discovering that change can be a very good thing and life's little surprises can be exactly what you needed but didn't even know you wanted. Mysterious? Yes, but all will be revealed in good time. Some things never change though. I am still a writer with the dream of making a career out of doing what I love, I am still working as a nanny for two crazy kids, and I am still obsessed with The Gaslight Anthem, Christmas, and Barrow, Alaska of all places.

In the past, the Willow Writer blog has been a hodgepodge of posts, mirroring the random thoughts that course through my brain at any given moment. But starting now I am going to focus mainly on the subject of writing, with some pop culture stuff thrown in because I just can't help it. And every once in a while, I may toss up a story or two about my life that I find too exciting not to share.

As some of you who have been reading my blog for a while may remember, I used to have my first two "Willow Ryan" novels available as ebooks through Barnes & Noble and Amazon. I took them down while I pursued other publishing avenues, but they are now available once again and I am very excited at the opportunity to share my writing with the world. Here are the descriptions of my first two Willow books, and if you are interested in previewing or downloading them, simply click the book covers in the sidebar to the right.

Secrets

It is the summer of 1986, and recent high school graduate Willow Ryan is going to have a baby, something she never imagined would happen to her. Unable to disclose her secret and unwilling to give up her baby, Willow leaves her Midwestern home for a new life in charming Santa Elena, California, where she lands a job working for a quirky Southern belle named Peggy, who has a knack for finding trouble in the most unlikely places. Willow's new neighbor, a friendly surfer dude named Denny, quickly becomes someone she can count on for anything, but could there be more to their relationship than Willow sees?

"Secrets" will take you on a journey with this independent, determined young woman as she grows up quickly, becomes a mother, and deals with a catastrophic event that makes all of her secrets come to light.

Promises

It's now 1987 in the small coastal town of Santa Elena, California. Willow Ryan has a beautiful baby, a good job at a children's boutique, great friends, and Denny, her neighbor and boyfriend who she is growing closer to by the day. After more than a year's worth of secrets and lies, Willow's relationship with her parents is on the mend as well, leading her to believe that all of the pieces of her life are finally falling into place. To top it off, Willow's sassy Southern boss and fairy godmother in disguise, Peggy, proposes an exciting new business venture that could mean big things for both of them. Working at Two Peas in a Pod is always fun, and now it could possibly get even better!

But just when Willow thinks that things are picture perfect, her world is turned upside down when Denny drops a bombshell that could change everything. Will their relationship survive this latest challenge, or will Willow lose the one person that has been there for her through every step of her rocky journey?

Follow Willow as she continues to grow, learn, and navigate through her wonderful, crazy, difficult, blessed life in "Promises".

Thank you so much for reading and welcome back to us all. :)

Welcoming the Light

"There were times when I thought I couldn't last for long/ But now I think I'm able to carry on/ It's been a long, a long time coming/ But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will." - "A Change is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke

Wow, it's been a long time since I wrote a new post! I have not forgotten about my blog, but I haven't been a place where I can focus on writing something worth reading for a little while. My life was getting overwhelming and now that the kids are out of school, I have been working double my normal hours, so writing has gotten pushed to the back burner.

This week I am on vacation from work though, and I am determined to get to a better place in every way. Yesterday I went down to the beach very early in the morning, and I cleared my head, spent a lot of time praying, and worked on some poetry as I watched the sun come up over the Atlantic Ocean. For the first time in a very long time, I felt at peace with myself, and that is a huge deal for me. So I thought I would share a poem with all of you as well as a few photos of what I was seeing as I wrote it. I hope you guys enjoy this. :)

"Welcoming the Light"

The sand and the sea meet
Two bodies intertwined
Altering the coastline forever
While the town sleeps
Beneath a red sky night

The roar of the waves
As they crash on the shore
Replace the riotting murmurs
In my cluttered mind and aching bones
And I know a change is gonna come

The tide rolls higher
As the stars disappear
Washing away the broken shells
Of past life
Leaving the world at peace

Goodbye darkness my old friend
Sailing out beyond the pier
Until the time we meet again
Like the sand and the sea
Under a red sunrise

I Can't Move On and I Can't Stay the Same

"But that ain't the way.../I can't move on and I can't stay the same/ And all my friends say.../ Hey, turn the record over/ Hey, I'll see you on the flip side/ There you go, turn the key and engine over." - "45" by The Gaslight Anthem

These lyrics are part of The Gaslight Anthem's new single "45", off of their album "Handwritten", which will be released on July 24. As soon as I heard this song, the words spoke to me, just like every song in Brian Fallon's catalogue does in one way or another. I'm telling you, this guy is a poetic rock and roll genius. So, what exactly hit me with this song? It was the phrase "I can't move and I can't stay the same". Allow me to explain.

I have been trying to get a literary agent off and on for a long time now. "Off and on" being the key words there. I can't be lazy about this anymore. I can't continue doing the same thing, where I query a couple of agents, get depressed if the news isn't good, and then not query anyone else for months and months. I will never get anywhere with that approach. But I can't move on either. I know a lot of people would give up after not getting a bite the first couple (dozen) times they throw out the line, but I believe in my "Willow Ryan" series and in my abilities as a writer too much to stop without achieving success. I am supposed to be doing this. Writing is a gift that God gave me, and I am determined not to waste it. So now that "I can't move on and I can't stay the same", what will I do?

I have revised and streamlined by query, and am compiling my next list of agents to contact. I will send out emails and snail mail queries, and I will wait. While I'm anxiously waiting for a positive reply (I had to consciously try not to roll my eyes as I typed that), I will do what a writer is supposed to do - I will write. Who We Thought We Were is going nowhere fast and I have to get back into the swing of things with that novel. I will also work on some articles I have rough drafts of and some poems I have been working on, so I will have plenty of productive projects to keep me busy and focused. And if I don't get anywhere with these next queries, I will turn right around and send out letters to the next several agents on my list. I am going to make this happen.

The Name Game

"The name game/ Shirley!/ Shirley, Shirley bo Birley Bonana fanna fo Firley/ Fee fy mo Mirley, Shirley!" - "The Name Game" by Shirley Ellis

After reading my Tuesday's Top Ten post about names a few days ago, Mary Ellen Quigley wrote a great post on her blog, Mary Ellen's Musings (see link on the right hand side of the page), about how she names the characters in her books. Her blog inspired me to share my thought process on naming my characters as well.

When I first got the idea for the "Willow Ryan Series", I instantly knew what her name was going to be. I knew that the series would take place in the 80s, with Willow having been born to hippie parents in 1968. The name needed to have a hippie-dippy flare, but still be "normal" enough where it wouldn't distract readers from the story. So Willow Brook Ryan was created, as was her sister, Summer Star Ryan. Nothing too out there, but the names fit the characters' personalities, their history, and their time of birth. Those are the three main things I think of when choosing names for my characters, which is one of my favorite parts of beginning a new book.

For my current work in progress, Who We Thought We Were, I picked names that were fairly common or typical for people of my generation since these characters are around my age. This novel is set in Virginia, so I stuck with fairly average sounding names, nothing too wild or inventive, which is not the norm in this part of the country, especially during the early 80s when these characters would have been born. The next factor was personality. Now I know this can be up for debate because everyone has their own opinions on what kind of person a name sounds like, but I paired up the following names with what I thought would be their character traits:

Shawna Sharp - The Poet - intelligent, quick-witted, sarcastic, and independent

Ryder Harrison - The Musician - a practical yet creative dreamer with a powerful presence

Christen Romano - The Girl Next Door - kind, outgoing, smart, and patient

Jared Jenkins - The All-American Boy - high school football player, devoted family man, popular, and easy going

Megan Delaney - The Cheerleader - bubbly, perfectionistic, always smiling - even if it's forced

Matt Harper - The Jock - high school baseball star turned major league pitcher, charismatic, cocky, loved by millions

Nicole (Nikki) Castille - The Rebel - unconventional, driven, always reinventing herself, not afraid to speak up about anything and everything

Evan Schultz - The Brain - average looking, extremely gifted, had a very magnetic personality in high school, over thinks everything

So that is how I begin a story. I use my three guidelines and come up with the characters, and somehow the rest just falls into place, like magic. And sometimes that's what writing is. Yes, it's hard work and can be quite challenging and exhausting at times, but the act of creating a story that (hopefully) a lot of people will read and enjoy, is a very magical thing. And it all begins with a name.

Maybe Someday Those Words Will Be Heard

"A million young poets/ Screamin' out their words/ Maybe someday/ Those words will be heard." - "Check It Out" by John Mellencamp

I wrote 1,200 words for my work in progress yesterday! I know it's not much, but at least it's a step in the right direction. Who We Thought We Were is starting to take shape, I'm getting a better feel for the characters I have introduced so far, and I even have a couple of new ideas of where I want the story to go. I'm back on track!

My goal for this week is to finish the current chapter and hopefully start the next. Usually once I get going on a book, I can write pretty quickly. It's just getting through the first couple of chapters that are a little slow. But as I get into the heart of the story, I become lost in the words, words that hopefully will be read by many, many people someday. Once the story has taken over my senses, I know I've got something worthwhile. I have a feeling that will happen very soon!

Stay Lucky

"But it feels like you just might explode inside/ You've been pacing around and waiting/ For some moment that might never arrive at all/ What you don't have, you don't need it anymore." - "Stay Lucky" by The Gaslight Anthem

That is the first section of my two-part song of the day. I have listened to "Stay Lucky" easily a hundred times, but for some reason these lyrics hit me like a punch in the face when I heard them the other day. Brian Fallon's words have a way of doing that. I was driving to work and thinking about my writing when it occured to me, what if success never happens? What if that moment I'm waiting for never arrives, ever? What if it's not supposed to? It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice down my back. Then I heard these lines:

"But you're never gonna find it/ When your knees got so weak/ And it's
right here in case you need it/ Like when you were young/ And everybody used to call you lucky/ When you were young."

Just as quickly as the previous lyrics had hit me, these words made me open my eyes to the fact that if I'm weak, if I'm just sitting around doing nothing like I have been, I'm never going to find anything. I have to make my own luck, because I'm not going to be given a break by anyone else. I'm not a kid anymore and even though so many things came easily to me back then, that's just not the case now. I have the abilities and gifts to meet my goals, and that's pretty lucky. I had forgotten that amid the rejection letters, loss of ambition I fought for a while, and the negative thoughts that often threaten to take over my mind.

I knew all along that if I want to succeed in the writing world it's up to me, but this song put everything into perspective. I could spend my whole life waiting for some luck to drop into my lap that will never arrive, or I can be fully present, work my butt off, and make this happen. I am not a weak person, I can't afford to explode, and I do really need this. So yesterday I wrote. I completed the chapter I had started last fall, the first chapter in Who We Thought We Were, and I'm no longer pacing. I know where I'm going and I know I'll get there. Someday I will arrive.

Always Waiting

"We were always waiting, always waiting/ We were always waiting for something to happen!" - "Great Expectations" by The Gaslight Anthem

This weekend I was busy, once again, making my list of agents to send queries to for my first "Willow Ryan" novel, Secrets. I'm ready. More ready than I have ever been, and I'm almost afraid to say this because it has a hint of optimism to it, but I kind of have a good feeling about this round. I have a solid list of a couple of dozen agents who I think may be a good fit for me and my work, and I will be sending out letters to the top six or seven tomorrow. Then I play the waiting game again. I am not good at waiting.

But instead of agonizing and obsessing over these queries like I normally do, wondering if the agent has read my carefully chosen words about the book that I have poured my blood, sweat, and tears into, whether I will receive a request, a rejection, or any response at all, I will put myself to work instead. In addition to Who We Thought We Were, my latest work in progress, I am also going to fine-tune some articles I wrote a while back on child development and start submitting those. I am going to make my career happen. I am a writer, and if I have anything to say about it, soon I will be a published writer. :) Now to get some good responses from the agents...

Man, I hate waiting.

Once Upon a Time...October Road

"Well I'm going back down maybe one more time/ Deep down home/ October road/ And I might like to see that little friend of mine/ That I left behind/ Once upon a time/ Oh promised land and me still standing/ It's a test of time/ It's a real good sign/...October road." - "October Road" by James Taylor

After not working on my latest novel for about three months (it makes me a little sick to admit that it's been that long), I'm getting back into the groove of things. Who We Thought We Were is a change for me since it's not part of the "Willow Ryan" series, but I am once again very excited about this novel. I reread the pages I had written last autumn and am pretty sure where I need to go next. I have a good idea of what direction the story is taking, who the characters are, and most importantly at this point, why I am writing this book. I'm putting a little piece of myself and my high school history down on paper. But just a little piece.

The Willow series is completely fictional. Sure, there are elements of the books that are taken from real life experiences, but the town of Santa Elena is fictional and the characters come entirely from my imagination. Who We Thought We Were is a little different. For those of you out there who are familiar with the short-lived TV show "October Road", I am kind of taking the Nick Garret route and creating a fictional story based on the people and places I knew in high school and events that took place during that time. None of my characters are based solely on one person I knew and the vast majority of the novel will come purely from my overactive imagination, but there will be elements of truth there as well. The book takes place in the same town I went to high school in. One of the main characters dreams of being a writer, is very sarcastic, and wasn't exactly a full of school spirit, peppy cheerleader type of teenager. Sound like someone you may recognize? (Hint: She's a fictional version of yours truly.)

Now that I mentioned "October Road", I can't let it go without recommending it to all of you. This drama starring Bryan Greenberg (from "One Tree Hill") and Laura Prepon ("That 70s Show") was only on for two seasons, but it made a big impact on me. The main character, Nick Garret, left his small hometown for New York after high school and eventually wrote a huge bestselling novel based on the town he grew up in and the people he knew. When he finally goes back to his old hometown after several years, he realizes that some people aren't that happy about his book, some people's circumstances have changed (like the fact that his ex-girlfriend is now a mother), and some people haven't changed at all. It was really a unique, well-acted, wonderful show, but for some reason it just didn't catch on. Thankfully it is available on DVD, and I encourage all of you to check it out. "October Road" was a very special show.

So, to wrap things up, I'm back on track with my writing, I'm super excited about continuing Who We Thought We Were, and don't forget to check out "October Road". Have a great day, everybody!

Another Year Over

"Another year over/ And a new one just begun." - "Happy Christmas (War is Over)" by John Lennon

I am not a New Year's person. It never really made sense to me why people would celebrate a year ending, 365 days that we are never going to get back, another year of our lives over. No matter what has happened in the last year, it always makes me kind of sad to think that it's gone forever, never to be seen again. Are you sufficiently bummed out now? (Sorry.)

And then there are resolutions. I don't believe in making New Year's resolutions because they will just be broken by February - at the very latest. If I said that my resolutions are to lose weight, eat healthier, start exercising, not be negative, etc. etc. etc., I would just get depressed when I didn't live up to my own expectations by eating a big piece of cheesecake while laying on the couch on January 2, eyes fixed to the TV, possibly being mistaken for a person in a comatose state. That would not make me exude any positive energy out into the world at all, I would just be in a terrible mood. And normally I'm a freakin' ray of sunshine! I feel very sarcastic today. Can you tell?

Seriously though, what I do believe in is taking control of your life and making changes because you want to, not just because the year is over. So, what changes do I want to make for 2012? The biggest one is with my writing. I need to get serious about it, really give myself a chance at making a career out of my biggest passion in life. Yes, I have been trying to get an agent and get the Willow series published for some time now, but I haven't been as persistant and gung ho as I should be. That is going to change. This year, not a single week will go by without me pursuing my dream. Agents will be contacted, queries will be revised, magazines and newspapers will be contacted in the hopes of getting some of my articles or poetry published so I can build up a portfolio. I am taking charge and no longer twiddling my thumbs, waiting around for an agent to get back to me. If I want this, I am the one who has to make it happen. And I won't stop working at it until I no longer have any words left to write or opinions to voice. And let's face it, that will never happen!

I hope all of you reading this are blessed with a great year ahead, happiness and prosperity, and a much more positive attitude than I have. ;) Happy New Year, everybody!

I Knew It Was a Dream When...

"I hope you have a good one/ I hope Mama gets her shopping done." - "Christmas All Over Again" by Tom Petty

Last night I had a dream that included some of the characters in my Willow Ryan series, and it seemed so real! I was shopping at Thyme to Play, the cutest toy store in Santa Elena, and talking with Willow and the store owner, the quirky Peggy Maguire. Willow, being the hardworking, friendly salesperson that I wrote her to be, was telling me about these new fairy wings that they just got in, and she said my nieces would love them. I was just about to hand my Visa card to Summer, who was working the register (all decked out in an acid wash jean skirt and off-the-shoulder hot pink sweater - the series is set in the 80s after all!), when I remembered that I was done shopping, so I left! That's when I knew it was a dream because I would never turn down the perfect gift, even if I had thought I was completely done shopping. I really wish Santa Elena and Thyme to Play were real places. I could have done a lot of Christmas shopping there this weekend!

Okay, back to reality. I am actually done with my Christmas shopping! And it's only November 28! I have been so consumed with buying and making gifts that I haven't written a single word for my work in progress all month. Isn't that terrible? I just can't concentrate on my novel right now when there are so many other things to do, so I am taking a break until after the holidays. I will still be updating my blog, but as for writing new chapters, the characters of Who We Thought We Were (and my notes for the next book in the Willow series) will just have to wait patiently until I can give them my undivided attention. I guess the freedom to stop and go as I please is one benefit (maybe the one and only benefit) of not having a publishing contract. I really hope that changes in the coming year!

No Surrender

"Tonight I hear the neighborhood drummer sound/ I can feel my heart begin to pound/ You say your tired and you just want to close your eyes and follow your dreams down." - "No Surrender" by Bruce Springsteen

This is my song of the day for two reasons, which leads itself to two separate posts. Here's part one:

As readers who have kept up with my blog for a while may remember, I finished my fourth novel in the "Willow Ryan" series in September...or so I thought. I had read through the manuscript so carefully, hoping to catch every typo, every fragment, every mispelled word that would hopefully jump right off the page in a glaring fashion that I would notice immediately. As all of my fellow writers know, this is rarely, if ever, the case. My mom and my sister read through this book after I declared it finished and attacked it with a red pen, much to my horror and appreciation. How could there be so many mistakes? So today I went back through and made corrections, again, and now it's finally done! So what's next (other than still trying to find an agent so I can eventually get published)?

Well, now it's time to get busy on "Who We Thought We Were", the new novel I told you about a few weeks ago. The problem is that I haven't worked on it since then! I am only one chapter in, and I just haven't been able to find the motivation to dive into it. Until now. Something happened while I was sitting at my computer fixing my mistakes from the fourth Willow book. I felt the need to write, to create, to follow my dreams and see where they take me.

I kind of feel alive again! I don't sleep as much as I should (stupid insomnia!) and I worry about everything under the sun (stupid worrywart genes!), and I felt like the creativity was completely squashed out of me. What I came to realize this morning is that I can change all of that instead of succumbing to it. "No Surrender" as Bruce said in the song of the day. I have to channel the anxiety, the stress, the fatigue, and everything else that tries to keep me down, into energy that will allow me to accomplish what I'm supposed to do. I am a writer. I may not have met my goals yet, I may not be making my living at it, I may not even be published yet, but in order to make those things happen, I have to sit down and write. And writing is what I will do.

When We Were Young

"But I am older now/ And we did it when we were young." - "We Did It When We Were Young" by The Gaslight Anthem

Just like it always is when I start writing a new book, my mind is filled with ideas and thoughts that I want to incorporate into my writing, but maybe more so this time than ever before. I just think that there is so much to explore in the topic of what kinds of people you thought you and your friends were growing up and who everyone actually became, that I'm constantly wanting to dig a little deeper into that idea.

I'm not sure what made me think of it, but about a year ago I remembered an English assignment I had at the beginning of my sophomore year of high school that got the wheels turning for Who We Thought We Were. My English 10 teacher, Mrs. Colley, gave us the assignment to write an essay about how we thought our lives would be as adults - college, family, career, etc. For most of the class, they had no concrete goals, but I sure did. Never without a plan and a whole headful of dreams, I stood up in front of the class at 14 years old and read my essay for all to hear, telling everyone what my future would hold. I don't remember all the details, but I thought I would go to college to become a teacher, marry right after I got my degree at 21, and then immediately start teaching first grade and having babies of my own, all the while working on my writing career as a children's book author that would most certainly start off with a bang. And I fully believed that all of this would happen. Yeah, right.

Now let's fast forward about 14 years (oh my gosh, I just realized I am now twice as old as I was back then. The horror!) and see which of those set in stone plans actually happened with a yes, no, or maybe so. Well, I did become a teacher, but preschool instead of elementary and now I am a nanny and homeschool teacher. I'll count that one as a yes. Let's see, a husband and children. Um, no. Looking back now, I can't imagine having gotten married so young, although when you're 14, 21 seems really old and mature. As for children, I have been spending a lot of time raising other people's kids since I wrote that essay, but that doesn't count for this topic. Then we have the writing career. I am going to give this one a maybe so, because I am writing and working toward becoming published. My focus shifted away from children's books to novels, but at least I haven't forgetten that dream that was actually born many years before high school, when I was in second grade. And as we all know, my writing career has not started off with a bang, but that was a hard lesson I had to learn along the way. I now believe that sometimes the best things in life have to be earned, and I am working really hard to be deserving of those blessings.

Sometimes as children and teenagers, we look at the world through rose colored glasses and live with blinders on, which is not necessarily a bad thing. There does come a time though, when we have to see ourselves and those around us in a real way - successes, failures, dreams, fears, positives, and negatives - and that's what I want to show in Who We Thought We Were. We think we know people, but is there something deeper inside of them that we don't see? We may think we know exactly how our lives will pan out, but what if that doesn't happen... and what if it does?

A Story To Tell

"And I got nothing for you darling but a story to tell/ About the rain on the pavement and the sound as it fell." - "Wherefore Art Thou, Elvis?" by The Gaslight Anthem

Yes, today I do have a story to tell. In fact, it's a new novel I have been planning for over a year and just really started to write today. It is going to be mainstream commercial fiction, a slight departure from the Willow series which is most definitely women's fiction, and I am really excited about it. The title is Who We Thought We Were and it is the story of eight friends who grew up together and reunite twelve years after graduation, only to discover that they are not really the people they thought they were back in high school. Nothing sinister or anything, just exploring the real life fact that for most of us, we do not end up being the people we thought we would be when we pictured our future as teenagers. And we do not live those dreamed about lives either, which can be a good thing or a bad thing, as my characters come to realize. The working promo pitch is:

Sometimes knowing yourself in the present means reliving your past.

So, what do you think? Remember, this is just my first attempt at a pitch for this book, so there will be changes and improvements along the way.

Thank goodness for Columbus Day, which my very generous employer gave me off as a surprise holiday, because I was able to sit in a quiet house with nothing to do but focus on my writing. That is a rare commodity that I don't take for granted. I was afraid that I would have a hard time starting this new novel since it's quite different from my Willow Ryan books, but I actually got into it pretty quickly. I wrote 2,000 words today and am now on a writing high, feeling totally exhilarated that I started a new project and am back into the writing groove. Now to get published... that's a goal I'm still working on.

Mark my words, one of these days you will walk into a bookstore and see my work on the shelves. I'm still looking for an agent and have queries for my first Willow book out there, and I will keep trying until I succeed, which I will some day. My writing just means too much to me to ever stop, and that's not just the writing high talking! I am actually feeling strangely optimistic today. I wonder what tomorrow will bring?

The Shining

"And we all shine on/ Like the moon and the stars and the sun." - "Instant Karma" by John Lennon

I watched my all-time favorite horror movie yesterday, "The Shining", and scared myself a little with a surprising realization. Jack Torrence, played by the super scary and super talented Jack Nicholson, was a teacher turned writer that just wanted some peace and quiet so he could work on his latest writing project. He also had an addictive personality and a bit of a temper... That sounded a little too familiar to me and for a brief second, I imagined myself turning into this:

I thought I would give myself nightmares. My family has stated that they will not ever be staying in a secluded hotel with me for an extended period of time. If they did, they might end up looking like poor Shelley Duvall when Jack yells out, "Heeerrre's Johnny!" as he chops through the door with an axe.

So, I have come to a few conclusions. I should not become an alcoholic. Nothing good could come from that, although I may be able to pass out and get a decent night's sleep. Next, all work and no play makes Shannon a dull girl, so I should try to relax every once in a while. And last but not least, I will never, under any circumstances, go snooping around room 237 of a hotel, even if I have severe writer's block and a little kid on a Big Wheel comes out of the room traumatized. There's just no coming back from that. If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch "The Shining". It's Stephen King's writing, Stanley Kubrick's directing, and Jack Nicholson's acting at it's best.

Tuesday's Top Ten - Favorite Words

"I sat down and wrote/ The best words I could write/ Turn, turn, turn again." - "Percy's Song" by Bob Dylan

Since I am a writer (or aspiring to be one), I thought I would devote this week's list to my favorite words. It's hard to pick just ten since my head is always swimming with words, but here goes nothing.

1. Enchanting - It's such a magical, dreamy word. Just makes me smile.

2. Peace - What we should all strive to create in our world.

3. Christmas - The best, happiest, most joyous day of the year.

4. Love - Goes right along with peace.

5. Perfect - An idea that is pretty much impossible, but one I still can't get past. There's a reason I made Willow a perfectionist in the Willow Ryan series.

6. Mustang - Wait a minute. This one doesn't fit in, does it? Oh well, my list, my words. The image of a Mustang, the sound of one, even the mention of the name, makes me happy. Especially when I have spent the majority of the day driving kids around in a minivan and I get behind the wheel of my Mustang. Woohoo! It's been my favorite car since I was six years old and it always will be.

7. Nonconformist - Going against the grain, standing out, not caring what the masses think. Gotta love it! I am proud to bestow this label upon myself, and I hate labels.

8. Inspire - To inspire somebody with something you said or did, or to be inspired by someone else is truly wonderful. I am always looking for inspiration in this world.

9. Win - I am the most competitive person around, so it's no wonder I like this word so much.

10. Congratulations - Only good news follows this word, right? The last time I saw this was a company congratulating me on a new credit card. The next thought that flashed through my mind was my credit score plummeting. I think I need a raise...

What I'm Looking For

"And I still haven't found what I'm looking for." - U2

Those of you who have been reading my blog since its start last year are familiar with my struggle to break into the writing business, but for any new readers out there, let me fill you in. I finished my first novel, Secrets, about two years ago and have been trying (off and on) to get a literary agent and move toward publication ever since. I'm still trying. I won't quit because I know this is what I am meant to do - I can feel it in my soul. In between my work as a nanny and homeschool teacher, real life, and trying to get an agent, I have written three more books in the "Willow Ryan" series and am ready to start a new unrelated novel whenever I work up the motivation to turn my pages and pages of notes into something worthy of being on the shelves of Barnes & Noble.

Caught up? Good. Today I decided to try something different to get my book noticed and maybe, just maybe, break into the literary world with a bang (or even just a knock on the door that is met with an answer). I have been toying with the idea of entering a contest sponsored by the UK magazine for women writers, Mslexia, for several weeks now, and I finally took the plunge. For only 25 British pounds (about $40), I submitted the first 5,000 words of my novel with fingers crossed, a prayer floating up to Heaven, and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's so hard to just put your work out there like that and it makes me a little nervous. As for the prayer, I didn't ask God to let me win the contest. That just wouldn't be the right. What I prayed for is to get something out of this experience, even if it's just that I learn that taking a chance on something might not be so bad, because at least I'm doing something other that what I've been doing - querying agents, getting depressed, rewriting, getting depressed, obsessing over unimportant details... and did I say getting depressed? The only thing that's saved my sanity for the last couple of years is my ability to write. Ironic isn't it? So, it's time for me to try something different. Albert Einstein once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. This is me trying my hardest not to be insane. I have said before that my life has been spent toeing the line between genius and insanity, and I would like to avoid falling into the deep end of the crazy pool if at all possible.

So what is it that I am looking for with this contest? Winning hasn't even entered my mind as a possibility (totally glass half empty here), but I am really hoping to be shortlisted. If that happens, I would probably pass out from the shock, and then as soon as I came to, send out my full manuscript. That would be such an honor and would give a (relatively) new writer a huge sense of valedation, which we can all use every now and then. Maybe my novel will even be noticed by someone in the business. That would be amazing! I believe in my writing, even with all of the negativity that constantly pollutes my brain, so I should in turn believe that I have a shot at standing out in the Mslexia contest, right? I hope so.

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

"Knock me down it's all in vain/ I'll get right back on my feet again/ Hit me with your best shot/ Why don't you hit with your best shot/ Hit me with your best shot/ Fire away!" - Pat Benatar

I'm a little discombobulated this week. Labor Day messed me up, and I went through the entire day yesterday singing "I Don't Like Mondays" in my head (not exactly an appropriate song to be singing to young children, right), and I completely forgot about posting my latest Tuesday's Top Ten. I will wait until next week for that one though, as I have bigger fish to fry today.

After rewriting, tweaking, agonizing over, and finally finishing my latest attempt at the perfect query letter, I emailed it out to a handful of agents this morning. I am now feeling that familiar emotional mix of excitement, dread, and nausea. What prompted me to chose "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" as my song of the day was the two responses I already received back from agents... sigh. One agent who is known for quick replies emailed me in three minutes with a standard, polite form rejection. Three minutes. Seriously?! That was a new record for me. I have been playing this game for a while now and have come to expect rejections, but that was a little hasty. Then I got another one from a different agent, just five minutes after I had hit the send button. Her response was simply, "No, thank you." That left me a little wounded, but I have to take my cues from Pat Benatar and be tough, not back down from this challenge, and rise above the hits that I, like every aspiring author, have to take along the way.

But what I want to know is, when does it stop feeling like you are the clumsy kid that always gets picked last for kickball?

Tuesday's Top Ten - Writing Mistakes

"And bad mistakes/ I've made a few." - "We Are the Champions" by Queen

First of all, I am not posting pictures of Hurricane Irene because we didn't actually get a hurricane! I have to say, I'm a little disappointed in Irene. I was expecting this big storm, equal or greater to Hurricane Isabel from 2003, but alas, it didn't happen (sigh). Okay, enough dramatics. We did get a tropical storm, but no damage and no significant power outages, so all is good.

Now, onto the latest Top Ten list. Today, I will be listing my top ten biggest mistakes I have made in my writing career (or what I hope will one day be a career) - so far. Hey, I'm honest enough to admit that I will always be making mistakes, but I also always learn from them. On that note, here's the list. I would love to hear what all of you have to say about this. What errors have you made along the way? Are mine totally stupid or embarrassingly familiar? Inquiring minds want to know...

1. Thinking this was going to be easy - My biggest flaw has been my own self confidence. Not that I'm full of myself or anything, but when I finished my first Willow Ryan novel, I was sure that I would land my dream agent right away (she requested a partial and ended up passing on it, but I got good feedback), get a publishing contract quickly, and become the next Melody Carlson/Meg Cabot/Robin Jones Gunn. I was so naive...

2. Having a typo on a query letter - This one killed me! I saw after I had emailed a carefully crafted letter to an agent that I had spent hours working on (very early on in the querying process), and I had accidentally typed "on" instead of "in". I will never forget that, and it bothered me to no end. I am positive that is why I never heard back from that agent.

3. Misspelling the agent's name - A huge, colossal, boneheaded mistake, and I made it! It was an unfamiliar name and for the first time in my life, I didn't triple check the salutation, and it came back to bite me. I was so mad at myself because of a stupid mistake that I should have caught, but didn't. I guess OCD was on vacation that day.

4. Taking rejections personally - I know you're not supposed to do this because it's strictly business, but to the writer who has invested so much in his/her work, it's very, very personal. I am trying to let it go, but those rejections still sting a little. Okay, sometimes a lot.

5. Opening with the weather - My first version of Secrets opened with Willow laying in the middle of a field as a thunderstorm approached. I spent so long making sure this scene was perfect, only to find out that this is a huge no-no. In fact, opening with the weather is on the top of tons of agents' pet peeve lists. Upon finding this out, I promptly began editing.

6. Thinking I was done with Secrets two years ago - Since then I have rewritten that novel at least eight times, the first chapter in particular. It is SO much better now than it was back then, and I have learned to never say that I am completely finished. Not until I see my book(s) in Barnes & Noble, that is.

7. Wanting to give up - There have been times over the past two years when I have felt that this will never happen, a publishing career is out of the question for me, and I should just forget about it. That is not a winning attitude, and I absolutely hate to lose, so I got over it. I still have my negative moments (days, weeks), but I will never quit.

8. Similarly named characters - I don't know how I missed this, but it wasn't until my third rewrite of Secrets that I noticed I had a character named Michael (Willow's dad) and another character named Mike (her friend). These characters never intertwined, so maybe that's why I didn't notice, but come on. How stupid is that? I changed Mr. Ryan's name to Patrick. At least that was an easy fix.

9. Song lyrics - This one took me a long time to discover. My first three novels were written with tons of song lyrics included, because Willow always has a song stuck in her head and tends to start singing without warning (autobiographical...). There are a lot of pop culture references in my books (they take place in the 1980s), and I had to do a ton of editing when I discovered that I could not use song lyrics, no matter how much I loved them, without permission. Very expensive permission. So, I worked around it, mentioning artists and song titles, but never exact lyrics, and I didn't lose any of the pop culture charm I originally had. Lesson learned and I'm a better writer for having made the mistake.

10. Checking my mailbox and email constantly - I nearly drove myself crazy looking for responses with my first couple rounds of submissions. Let me tell you, responses, when they do come, usually take forever! Often weeks, if not months, and I am not a patient person. I even got a response over a year after querying an agent. Once they are sent, I have learned to try to forget about them, and if I get a response, I am always surprised.

A Revised Query Letter

"Here I am, on the road again/ There I am, up on the stage." - "Turn the Page" by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band

The road is the submissions process and the stage is my query letter. I am once again getting back into the game, hopefully with better results this time thanks to my newly revised query letter. I have been at this for a while, but I am still growing, still learning, and still working to make the dream come true, so I am posting my query in the hopes of getting some feedback from all of you out there, whether you are writers, working in the literary/publishing field, an avid reader, or just someone who has an opinion to share. I'd love to hear any comments you want to leave me. Thanks for reading, and I hope this letter is a winner. Fingers crossed!

Dear Ms. _______,

I read in Guide to Literary Agents that you specialize in representing new authors, and after looking at your website I feel my 99,000 word novel, Secrets, would be a good match for you. It is women’s fiction geared toward the twenty to thirty-something crowd.

Seventeen, pregnant, and on her own. This is the position that recent high school graduate Willow Ryan finds herself in during the summer of 1986. Not wanting to disappoint her family or ruin the father’s life, Willow leaves Indiana for charming Santa Elena, California, determined to raise her child on her own without telling a soul back home. She lands a job working for Peggy Maguire, a former Southern Belle with a knack for finding trouble - and humor - in the most unlikely places. Willow’s new neighbor, a friendly surfer dude named Denny, quickly becomes someone she can count on for anything, but could there be more to their relationship than Willow sees? Get ready to laugh out loud and a shed a tear or two as Secrets takes you on a journey that begins with an independent young woman trying her best to hide the truth, and ends with a pivotal event that turns her world upside down, forcing all of Willow’s secrets to come to light.

Although I definitely have my own unique style and voice, Secrets could be described as a combination of Kristin Hannah’s sincere emotion, Meg Cabot’s humor, and the welcoming tone of a Robin Jones Gunn novel, where the characters seem like old friends stopping by with an invitation to a beach party or to offer a much needed hug. I chose to write this book because Willow’s character has a story to tell, and many women will relate to her as she gives all she has to create the best possible life for her child.

This is a simultaneous submission, and my completed manuscript is ready to be sent at your request. While Secrets can definitely stand on its own, it is also the first novel in a series. I have completed the next three books and have plans for a fifth Willow Ryan novel as well. I have enclosed the first ten pages of Secrets for you to read as stated on your website. Thank you so much for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Shannon Higgins

Some Will Lose

"Some will win, some will lose/ Some were born to sing the blues." - "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey

Sigh... I was not one of the lucky winners of the pitch contest I blogged about a week or so ago. I never really expect to win anything, but for some reason the outcome of this contest was more depressing than most rejections. Just the thought that winning would mean an agent would read and comment on my entire manuscript was so amazing that I let myself get excited about it, but maybe the next contest that comes along will have better results for me.

Or the next query letter. Rejection seems to be the topic of the day, with the contest and another "thanks but no thanks" from an agent. Things have to improve, right? I certainly hope so! What's a writer to do? Keep writing of course! And submitting, and revising, and praying! With next week off of work, I am making plans to revise my query letter (again), come up with a new list of agents to write to (again), and most importantly, work on my writing. I still have some editing to do for book four in the Willow Ryan series and am looking forward to starting a brand new mainstream novel next month. The important thing is that I'm not giving up, but instead I'm going to work even harder to make my dreams of becoming a published novelist a reality. I won't stop believing!