When We Were Young

"But I am older now/ And we did it when we were young." - "We Did It When We Were Young" by The Gaslight Anthem

Just like it always is when I start writing a new book, my mind is filled with ideas and thoughts that I want to incorporate into my writing, but maybe more so this time than ever before. I just think that there is so much to explore in the topic of what kinds of people you thought you and your friends were growing up and who everyone actually became, that I'm constantly wanting to dig a little deeper into that idea.

I'm not sure what made me think of it, but about a year ago I remembered an English assignment I had at the beginning of my sophomore year of high school that got the wheels turning for Who We Thought We Were. My English 10 teacher, Mrs. Colley, gave us the assignment to write an essay about how we thought our lives would be as adults - college, family, career, etc. For most of the class, they had no concrete goals, but I sure did. Never without a plan and a whole headful of dreams, I stood up in front of the class at 14 years old and read my essay for all to hear, telling everyone what my future would hold. I don't remember all the details, but I thought I would go to college to become a teacher, marry right after I got my degree at 21, and then immediately start teaching first grade and having babies of my own, all the while working on my writing career as a children's book author that would most certainly start off with a bang. And I fully believed that all of this would happen. Yeah, right.

Now let's fast forward about 14 years (oh my gosh, I just realized I am now twice as old as I was back then. The horror!) and see which of those set in stone plans actually happened with a yes, no, or maybe so. Well, I did become a teacher, but preschool instead of elementary and now I am a nanny and homeschool teacher. I'll count that one as a yes. Let's see, a husband and children. Um, no. Looking back now, I can't imagine having gotten married so young, although when you're 14, 21 seems really old and mature. As for children, I have been spending a lot of time raising other people's kids since I wrote that essay, but that doesn't count for this topic. Then we have the writing career. I am going to give this one a maybe so, because I am writing and working toward becoming published. My focus shifted away from children's books to novels, but at least I haven't forgetten that dream that was actually born many years before high school, when I was in second grade. And as we all know, my writing career has not started off with a bang, but that was a hard lesson I had to learn along the way. I now believe that sometimes the best things in life have to be earned, and I am working really hard to be deserving of those blessings.

Sometimes as children and teenagers, we look at the world through rose colored glasses and live with blinders on, which is not necessarily a bad thing. There does come a time though, when we have to see ourselves and those around us in a real way - successes, failures, dreams, fears, positives, and negatives - and that's what I want to show in Who We Thought We Were. We think we know people, but is there something deeper inside of them that we don't see? We may think we know exactly how our lives will pan out, but what if that doesn't happen... and what if it does?

I'm a Dreamer

"You may say I'm a dreamer/ But I'm not the only one." - "Imagine" by John Lennon

I love "Imagine". It's my favorite Lennon solo song and I'm in awe every time I hear it, even though I have heard it a thousand times before. It's really a pretty simple song, but so powerful and thought-provoking at the same time. The work of a true genius...

So, I just finished watching the Meryl Streep/Amy Adams movie "Julie and Julia", which just gets better each time I see it. In fact, it was my inspiration for starting this blog almost a year ago.

Whenever I watch that movie, I have to throw my hands up in the air and shake my head in amazement and wonder (and, I'll admit, a little bit of jealousy) when Julie's blog takes off and she ends up getting calls from agents, editors, and even publishers who want to represent her and her writing. What an impossible dream that would be! But still, I'm a dreamer and I do fantisize about how incredible it would be to have someone pursue my writing instead of me sending off my hopes and dreams and waiting with my fingers crossed for a positive response. I know it's stupid to even think like that, and believe me, I know it would never happen in a million years because I do live in the real world (most of the time...), but hey, that did actually happen to Julie Powell. I also take solice knowing that I am not the only hopeful writer out there who shares these dreams, as well as these realities. That being said, I didn't start my blog to get noticed and become rich and famous. I started blogging because I always have something to say and don't always have someone around to listen. Plus, I figured it wouldn't hurt to get the word out about my writing just in case... It's always good to have a platform, right?

Okay. Since I know I have to make this dream of becoming a novelist a reality, I am in the process of compiling my next list of agents to query. I have some time off of work in a few weeks and I am going to use it to write, submit to agents, research, and write some more. What? You think that sounds like work? Well, not to me. To me it sounds like the possibility of getting one step closer to my goal, which is music to my ears.

Teach Your Children

"Teach, your children well/ Their father's hell/ Did slowly go by/ And feed them on your dreams/ The one they picked, the one you'll know by/ Don't you ever ask them why?/ If they told you, you would cry/ So just look at them and sigh/ And know they love you."

Ah, the wise words of Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young. I love that song, don't you? I was thinking about that song earlier, especially the line about dreams, while I was eating lunch with the three year old I teach. We were having a very fancy tea party lunch, one of her favorite things, and naturally she wanted to blow out the candles. As the smoke was swirling around in the air, I asked her if she made a wish. She said yes, that she wished that I would win when we play animal bingo later because last time I lost. Her wish was so sweet and selfless, it almost did make me cry. I'm such a sap!