Tuesday's Top Ten - Favorite Television Characters

"There was someone on a platform talking to the folks/ About the T.V. ..." - "T.V. Talkin' Song" by Bob Dylan

I have done a couple of television-related lists in the past and they seem to be pretty popular based on page views, so I thought today I would focus my efforts on naming my all-time favorite T.V. characters. It was hard to narrow these down because I am such a T.V. junkie, but I think my top ten goes a little something like this:

1. Lorelai Gilmore (played by Lauren Graham) - This one was a no-brainer. "Gilmore Girls" is my favorite show and there has never been a character as fantastic as Lorelai. She's quick-witted, a pop culture whiz, quirky, snarcastic (snarky + sarcastic), and a great mom. I love how she's such a fast talker and is so goofy, but she is also a successful businesswoman and managed to raise her daughter entirely on her own, even after giving birth to her at only 16. I wish more people were like Lorelai in real life. And coincidentally, Lauren Graham also plays another great character in one of my current favorite shows, "Parenthood".

2. David Addison (played by Bruce Willis) - Before becoming an A-list movie star, Bruce Willis played David Addison in the 80s series "Moonlighting". In the third episode of the first season, David, in his smooth-talking, charming way, sings "Doo Wah Diddy Diddy" and I loved him from that moment on. He's the type of character that gets into trouble but can always talk his way out of it, will punch a guy in the face to defend someone important to him, and can win anyone over with a smile. Who wouldn't love David Addison?

3. Mike Seaver (played by Kirk Cameron) - "Growing Pains" has been one of my favorite sitcoms since I was in preschool, so it's no wonder it has had such a lasting impact on me. In fact, I think Michael Aaron Seaver was the first TV character I ever loved. He's kind of like the younger version of David Addison - the charming, mischievous guy who gets into trouble but never really means to, but no one cares because you can't help but like him. I think it's the smile.

4. Lucy Ricardo (played by Lucille Ball) - There will never be another Lucy. Her trademark slapstick humor and vibrant personality is the reason everyone loves Lucy. I loved how she always wanted Ricky to put her in his nightclub act and sometimes went to extreme lengths to make her dream a reality. She and Ethel had the best friendship, and no one could pull off a joke or a prank like Lucy. She was one of a kind.

5. Jim Halpert (played by John Krasinski) - The way Jim handles his rivalry with Dwight on "The Office" has landed him on my list. Jim is one of the funniest characters on TV at the moment, and has pulled some of the best pranks of all time. (Does anyone see a pattern here with some of these characters? Hmm...) I don't think I have ever laughed harder at a TV show than when Jim impersonated Dwight or when he created a "security threat" work ID badge for Dwight "Fart" Schrute. And his storyline with Pam was so sweet and innocent, that I can't help but love him.

6. Sheldon Cooper (played by Jim Parsons) - Okay, I am now deviating from my typical favorite character completely and picking the biggest of all uber-geeks from "The Big Bang Theory". Sheldon is hilarious! His character has no sense of humor, aside from his "classic practical jokes" with a bazinga zinger at the end, seems to be incapable of most human emotions, and is consumed with science, video games, comic books, and trains, but I still love him! He could be the poster child for the phrase "there's a fine line between genius and insanity", but there is something about him that is quite endearing. I think part of the appeal of the show and Sheldon's character, for me anyway, is that they are completely different from anything else out there on TV. No one is quite as weird as Sheldon, quite as oblivious, or quite as brilliant, and that makes him very fun to watch.

7. Lindsay Weir (played by Linda Cardellini) - There has never been another character on TV that I relate to as much as Lindsay from "Freaks and Geeks". This show was on when I was a senior in high school, and in so many ways, I was Lindsay. I was the good girl that hung out with the "bad kids", I always got good grades (although I was never a Mathlete!), and we liked the same music. Plus she was quick-witted and quick to speak her mind, both qualities I have always been proud to possess myself. I think it's kind of unusual for a girl like Lindsay who is thought of as wholesome and intelligent and has never been in trouble a day in her life to be accepted by a totally different crowd, "the freaks" in this case, but I experienced a similar connection and acceptance, so I immediately identified with her. It's a shame the show wasn't on longer. I would have loved to have seen how her journey following The Grateful Dead around for the summer went.

8. John Boy Walton (played by Richard Thomas) - I love "The Waltons" and John Boy was my favorite character right from the start. I can relate to his dream of becoming a writer and each time he sent off a submission or got a rejection letter, I was like, "Yep, I know just how you feel!" And when it shows him sitting down to write at night, trying to escape all of the craziness that goes on in the rest of his life and find a moment of peace, I like to think that I know a little bit how Earl Hamner, Jr. (the real life John Boy that wrote the book which inspired the show) felt as his pen sailed across the paper, telling stories that maybe, just maybe, would mean something to someone someday.

9. Cameron Tucker (played by Eric Stonestreet) - Easily one of the funniest characters to ever appear on television, and my favorite character on "Modern Family". Cam is so over the top and flamboyant, and the faces he makes are beyond hilarious. Even his mannerisms are laugh out loud funny! He has said in interviews that he modeled his character after his mother, so I'm just assuming that she's one of the funniest, goofiest, nicest, and most likable people on the planet. And I love seeing Cam interact with Lily, his TV daughter. He's like a big papa bear who plays dress up and probably throws a killer tea party.

10. Mr. Lynn Belvedere (played by Christopher Hewett) - I have mentioned before how I think of Mr. Belvedere as my TV kindered spirit, so it's just right that he rounds out my top ten. Lindsay from "Freaks and Geeks" may be the most like me as a teenager, but somehow, I relate to Mr. Belvedere as an adult! Not the British middle-aged curmudgeon of a man (insert eye roll here), but the house manager/nanny who keeps everything under control and everyone in line, even that lovable little trouble-maker Wesley. And Mr. Belvedere writes every night as well! I think if Mr. Belvedere and I sat down for tea (yes, I know he's fictional; I haven't completely lost it yet!), we would have a lot to talk about.

Gym Moms

"I can bitch, I can bitch/ 'Cause I'm better than you/ It's the way that I move/ The things that I do." - "The Bitch is Back" by Elton John

Have you seen the Lifetime show "Dance Moms"? It is disturbing, maddening, and totally, 100% addictive. Instead of focusing entirely on the high-pressure performing world that these children are thrown into (like on TLC's "Toddlers and Tiaras"), the Lifetime hit focuses on the bickering, one-upping, sometimes manipulative mothers of the future "So You Think You Can Dance" powerhouses. Wow, it's obviously clear that I watch way too much TV!

Anyway, I have come across mothers like the Dance Moms at the gym where the girls I nanny for do gymnastics. They are the Gym Moms! Yesterday I was appalled by three things I heard.

1. "Good thing we are nothing like those dance moms on TV!" Oh really? I have routinely heard these women commenting negatively on the skills of some of the children, bad mouthing the other parents, and having dozens of self-centered conversations each afternoon. Sounds a lot like a certain TV show that they can't seem to realize mirrors their lives to a tee. Hmm...

2. "I just bought this shirt yesterday at Target. That store is as good as it gets." The others all agreed enthusiastically. I guess these women have never heard of Neiman Marcus or Bloomingdales.

3. "The nanny was supposed to take Ava to the dentist yesterday, but she called in sick. Can you believe she would get the stomach flu like that? It messed up my whole day." It took all of the self-control I had not to turn around and give these women a piece of my mind. If I hadn't had the seven-year-old sitting next to me, I'm sure I would have told them a little something like this: "Between throwing up and feeling like she was going to die at any second, your nanny, who probably caught the stomach flu from taking care of your kids by the way, was probably doing a little happy dance thinking about how much she messed up your day, because after all, the world does revolve around you." It was probably a good thing I had to keep my mouth shut, huh?

And those three conversations were not unusual in the slightest. Move over Dance Moms, the Gym Moms could make you hide under your chairs and cry. Can you still cry if you've had massive amounts of Botox? I'll have to do some research on that one.

Tuesday's Top Ten - Favorite TV Couples

"Love and marriage, love and marriage/ Go together like a horse and carriage/ This I tell you brother/ You can't have one without the other." - "Love and Marriage" by Frank Sinatra (and theme song to "Married With Children")

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! In honor of the holiday today, I have decided to list my favorite television couples. They laugh, they cry, they fight and make up, and chances are they're very similar to people you know in real life. Al and Peg Bundy didn't make the list, but that song was just perfect for today's post, don't you think?

1. Tim and Jill Taylor - "Home Improvement" - Tim and Jill were the perfect TV couple. They played off of each other's jokes so well, they had great chemistry, and they just seemed so real. In one of my favorite episodes, Jill takes a relationship quiz in a magazine, prompting Tim to create one of his own. He then reveals that Jill's score falls between elbow pads - "soft, flexible, and a good housekeeper...it takes care of the joint", and a jock strap - "gets in the way a lot, but basically supportive." So, so funny! This episode is in season 2 and is titled "Love is a Many Splintered Thing".

2. Roseanne and Dan Conner - "Roseanne" - They were the quintessential blue collar, lower-middle class American couple. They didn't have much money, struggled a lot, fought even more, but they loved each other and that was enough. The show strayed from it's humble, honest beginnings in the last season or two, but the Dan and Rosie that America loved when the show began are one of my favorite couples watch. One of the best episodes was in the third season where they celebrate Mother's Day. "Scenes From a Barbecue" has a great part toward the end where the Conners and their family and friends gather in the backyard and have a sing along with Dan at the guitar. And Bonnie sings an amazing rendition of "You Really Got a Hold On Me", a song that fits Roseanne and Dan to a tee.

3. Ross Gellar and Rachel Green - "Friends" - Ross and Rachel were meant to be together. Everybody knew it. And when they broke up (they were on a break!), we all knew they would find their way back to each, which they did several times, once resulting in a drunken Vegas wedding and another time resulting in Emma. The series finale was the perfect way to seal their relationship in television history, but my favorite Ross and Rachel episode is season 2's "The One With the Prom Video", where it shows that Ross has loved Rachel since she was a high school senior and he almost got to take her to the prom.

4. Lucy and Ricky Ricardo - "I Love Lucy" - One of the very first and most beloved couples on TV, Lucy and Ricky balanced each other out perfectly. She was kooky, mischievous, and hilarious, while he was much more practical and level-headed. And no matter how angry he got at Lucy's antics, Ricky would always end up laughing by the end of the show. One of my favorite episodes is "Lucy's Schedule" from the first season. She is always running late so Ricky puts her on a strict daily schedule, but of course this plan backfires in a classic Lucy way.

5. Ray and Debra Barone - "Everybody Loves Raymond" - I love Ray and Debra. He is immature, neurotic, and a bit of a mama's boy, but still a good guy who means well, even when what he says or does backfires. And she puts up with it all, often with just a roll of the eyes and a mutter of, "Idiot" when he leaves the room. They are a lot like Jill and Tim, a normal couple that people can relate to, and you know that no matter what happens, they will end up okay and laughing in the end. A classic episode that showcases their relationship perfectly would be season two's "The Checkbook".

6. Lorelai Gilmore and Luke Danes - "Gilmore Girls" - No, Lorelai and Luke never got married, but everyone knew they belonged together. She was silly and unconventional, he was serious and average across the board, and they just clicked. When they finally got together I was so excited, and then when they broke up it was just so very, very wrong. But when the show ended, I just knew that Lorelai and Luke would end up together after all. Watch their first date in season 5's "Written in the Stars".

7. Kevin Arnold and Winnie Cooper - "The Wonder Years" - They were just kids and didn't even end up together in the end, but the relationship between Kevin and Winnie was so sweet and innocent, whether everything was perfect or falling apart. Kevin loved Winnie, even when she broke up with him and went out with other guys, he still loved her. Their relationship began on the pilot episode, when they were only 12 years old, but everyone knew they had something special. I miss this show so much.

8. Jim Halpert and Pam (Beesly) Halpert - "The Office" - Ah, Jim and Pam. The sweethearts of Dunder-Mifflin. In classic sitcom tradition, we knew from the start that they would end up together, and when Jim finally declared his love for Pam in "Casino Night" at the end of season 2, I felt like cheering. All was right with the world. Except it wasn't. Pam was still with stupid Roy. And she was caught off-guard when Jim kissed her. And Jim ran away to Stamford! But of course everything worked out in the end. Like Kevin Malone once said, "I thought they'd be good together, like PB and J. Pam Beesly and Jim."

9. David Addison and Maddie Hayes - "Moonlighting" - I love this show so much, and part of what made it so good was the chemistry and tension between David and Maddie. He was so fun-loving and free-spirited, and she was kind of prissy and uptight. Another case of opposites attract. They drove each other completely crazy, made each other angry a lot, but were still drawn together like magnets. I can't even pick one specific episode that showcases their relationship, because every episode did in one way or another. One of the very first episodes, "Gunfight at the So-So Corral", is a classic in my opinion. They are just getting their agency started and David has to teach Maddie how to be a detective. And he sings "Do Wah Diddy Diddy", which is just so perfect.

10. Carol Seaver and Bobby Winnette - "Growing Pains" - They weren't a couple for very long, but I loved Carol and Bobby together. She was a brainiac and he was a star football player, the classic opposites attract love story. One of the best Bobby Winnette episodes was "Some Enchanted Evening" from season 2, where Carol is upset that Bobby won't ask her to the winter formal. And when she discovers why and they end up dancing after all, it was pure television magic.

Here's the Story...

"Here's the story/ Of a lovely lady..." - theme to The Brady Bunch

I am a huge fan of classic TV, mainly the sitcoms of the '60s and '70s. When I was in second or third grade, I would sneak out of bed at night, angry at my unreasonable 8:30 bedtime, and sit in the hallway where I could see the TV but my mom couldn't see me, and watch these great old shows on Nick at Nite.

But were they really the great, wholesome family entertainment that they were made out to be? Thanks to my overactive imagination, I have come up with some alternate storylines about the seedy underbelly of classic sitcoms that you may not only find surprising, but shocking in nature! Buckle your seatbelts boys and girls. We are about to enter the Twilight Zone (do do do do/ do do do do/ do do do do...)

* Disclaimer: The following storylines were made up by me, purely for my own amusement. I honestly love all of these shows, and I think I may be losing my mind a little after reading some of the stuff I came up with, but who cares? Enjoy!*

Let's start with "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis". On the surface, this seems like a nice sitcom about Dobie and his friend, Maynard G. Krebs, who was TV's first beatnik. But what people didn't know, is that Dobie Gillis was aspiring to be television's very first polygamist! Long before the days of "Big Love" and "Sister Wives", Dobie was planning on marrying his many loves and building a compound in Utah. I hope those girls were careful though. Just look at this next picture:

Next on the list is "The Andy Griffith Show". How, you ask, can the Taylor family of Mayberry, NC be anything other than a good old-fashioned American family? Well, what Andy didn't tell you was that Opie wasn't his son's full first name. Nope. Opie, in fact, was short for Opium. Now ask yourselves why the sheriff had a son named Opium Taylor. I think the sleepy town of Mayberry may have been a front for an underground drug ring that supplied opiates to the Southern states. Oh yeah, Aunt Bee was in on it too. She always added a little something special to everything she made in the kitchen!

Remember the Cleavers, the average goody-goody family on "Leave it to Beaver"? Well, they may not have been like the family next door after all.

I seem to recall Ward smoking a pipe quite a bit, and I am beginning to think that it wasn't filled with tobacco. Instead, I think Ward was the ringleader of a marijuana cartel whose members also included Jim Anderson from "Father Knows Best" and maybe even Ozzie Nelson from "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet". Adventures indeed! The frequent drug use could explain why Ward named his oldest son Wallus and chose to call his baby boy Beaver, somehow short for Theodore. And Jim could never even remember his kids' names, instead calling them generic nicknames like Kitten, Princess, and Bud. And don't think it was only the TV fathers who were one toke over the line. Oh no, the mothers were potheads too! Why else would they be so happy to stay home all day, cooking and cleaning in their high heels and pearls. They had to have a Mother's Little Helper to get them through the day (think of the Rolling Stones song)!

Now why, in 1961 when "Mister Ed" first aired, did nobody realize the real reason Wilbur Post moved out to the country was to fulfill his lifelong dream of making and selling bathtub gin and homemade whiskey? Of course they couldn't show these doings on TV, but good old Wilbur new he was on to something when that horse began talking to him. Yep, that was some good stuff! Something else that wasn't shown, was that the booze business steadily picked up steam, and Wilbur had to hire some help. Enter Uncle Joe from "Petticoat Junction" and later on Oliver Douglas from "Green Acres". They were a terrible trio, for sure, and television audiences were completely in the dark...until now.

Anybody remember Sally Field flying through the air as Sister Bertrille on "The Flying Nun"? I have come to the conclusion that no one in their right mind would wear that get-up, and it's now painfully obvious that LSD is what made her fly. I know, it's terrible, isn't it? A couple years before LSD was first mentioned on TV in the classic Blue Boy episode of "Dragnet", the Flying Nun was flying high on acid. It was way too risky to mention the truth on a family show, even if LSD was not illegal yet, and the creators of this show just assumed that no one would find out. Well, think again!

Ah, yes, the first witch on TV. Admit it, you always thought something fishy was going on while you watched "Bewitched", didn't you? Well, you were right! All that nose twitching was not just to cast spells. No, it was really a rather unfortunate side effect of cronic cocaine use. Samantha, Samantha, Samantha. What would Endora say? Come to think of it, I bet Endora was her dealer! That makes perfect sense. She always was a little out there. The years of cocaine use also explains why Samantha's husband, Darrin, had a total face transplant in the middle of season four and she never even noticed! Take a look below at how oblivious she is to her husband's switcheroo. She's just smiling away, with a bit of a crazed look in her eyes. Shocking.

Follow me as we near the end of the 1960s and take a look at one of the most beloved TV families in history, the Bradys.

Don't they look groovy with their outta sight clothes and far out permed hair (I'm talking about you, Brady men!)? Naturally, but the unofficial Brady family member was not as happy as everyone thought. Alice Nelson was out to get the Bradys at every opportunity, especially dinner time!

Poor overworked Alice. She rarely got a day off, had to wear those terrible uniforms (who wouldn't be furious?!), and was forced to sleep in a room on the main floor off of the kitchen. What she really wanted was to have the attic all to herself, but no! Greg and Marcia had to fight over it instead. Spoiled rotten children! And Alice always dreamed of wearing short dresses like Marcia and wearing a cool black wig like Jan, but it was against the rules strictly inforced by Mike and Carol. She had to remain in her uniform at all times. After hearing all this, I'm sure it comes as no surprise that Alice routinely laced the Brady Bunch's food with shrooms. No one realized this until the Brady movies came out in the 90s, but Alice sent that family on strange trips all the time. Meatloaf? Check. Pot roast? Check. Pork chops and applesauce? Double check. That kind of explains the wacky clothes and male perms, doesn't it? Those poor Brady's never saw it coming...

Hold on, don't get off the ride yet! We have one more family that you probably thought was a little off all along. Just one year after "The Brady Bunch" made it's TV debut, viewers were in for another treat with "The Partridge Family".

Their music may have been good family fun, but these guys had a real wild side! When they weren't filming their show, the Partridges were touring as The Grateful Dead's opening act, and their road crew was none other than Ken Kesey and his Merry Pranksters! Did you really think little Chris was going to set up his own drums and Tracy was going to carry around that heavy tambourine all day? I think not. And boy did those kids like their really swell Kool Aid! In fact, they painted that bus after drinking a whole pitcher. Oh, Shirley claimed at the time that she thought LSD was a vitamin and the acid those crazy pranksters were talking about was citric acid to give the Kool Aid a little zing, but who does she think she's fooling? Keith admitted all along that he knew what was happening, but no one blamed him at all. He needed a little something to escape the embarrassment of traveling around in the psychadelic bus and singing corny songs with his mom and younger siblings. Totally justified.

Okay, how are you feeling? Is your head spinning? Do you feel like your whole world has turned upside down? It's okay, I felt the same way when I discovered what had been going on in television sets across America for the last half of a century. I'll just leave you with this picture of a classic TV duo that no one could possibly think anything bad about whatsoever. Totally normal, straight-laced, not caught up in any kind of illegal doings at all, children's cartoon characters. ;)

There, don't you feel better now?

Tuesday's Top Ten - Halloween Part 2

"Six more days to Halloween, Halloween, Halloween/ Six more days to Halloween/ Silver shamrock!" - Jingle from "Halloween III: Season of the Witch"

Have any of you out there seen "Halloween III", the third movie in the "Halloween" series that has nothing to do with Michael Myers, Laurie Strode, or Dr. Loomis? If you haven't, don't bother. The only thing worth remembering about this movie is the annoyingly fun jingle that appeared on commericals throughout the movie.

With Halloween being only six days away now, I am doing a follow-up to my list from a couple of weeks ago and listing my favorite Halloween TV specials, made-for-TV movies, and TV episodes. So grab a popcorn ball, a handful of candy corn, and a cup of apple cider and relive some of these small screen classics with me.

1. It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown - No Halloween special will ever top this one. Good old Snoopy fights the Red Baron as a WWI Flying Ace, Sally joins her sweet baboo, Linus, in his quest to get toys from the Great Pumpkin, and Charlie Brown has trouble with scissors, cutting dozens of eye holes in his ghost costume (hey, some of us still have a little trouble with those darn scissors...). It's a little piece of everyone's childhood since 1966 that is as feel-good as they come. Especially at the end when Lucy, shedding her smarty-pants, know-it-all image for a minute, goes out at four in the morning to retrieve her sleeping, shivering little brother from the pumpkin patch, which evidently, was not quite sincere enough for the Great Pumpkin.

2. Freaks and Geeks: Tricks and Treats - Easily the funniest episode of this great series that didn't last nearly long enough. There's a reason it has risen to cult classic status. I just love geeky Bill's Bionic Woman costume (my family quotes him all the time from this episode) and when Lindsay, the girl caught between her geekdom past and her freaky new friends (more burnouts than freaks, but that's beside the point), kicks a jack-o-lantern and gets her foot caught in the pumpkin as she tries to make a run for it. If you haven't seen this show, do yourself a favor and check it out. You just may find a new favorite!

3. That '70s Show: Too Old to Trick or Treat, Too Young to Die - This episode is totally brilliant! Paying homage to Alfred Hitchcock, the king of suspense, the gang from Point Place, WI fill the half hour with parodies of "Psycho", "The Birds", "Vertigo", "Rear Window", and "North by Northwest". I especially enjoyed "The Birds" homage, with Laurie getting pooped on by a bird and being terrorized off and on throughout the show. She was evil and deserved it. So there. Oh yeah, and the scariest part was Fez dressing up like Dr. Frank-N-Furter. Yikes!

4. Roseanne: Trick Me Up, Trick Me Down - If you are a fan of this show, you know how much Roseanne loved Halloween, and this is my favorite of her annual spooky episodes. I love how she becomes paranoid, thinking her "needle butt" (another episode...) neighbor, Kathy, is out to get her back after she pulled a prank on her. Plus, DJ is dressed as a killer Alfalfa. Fantastic!

5. Home Improvement: The Haunting of Taylor House - Brad dressed like Raggedy Andy, Jill dressed like a giant carrot, and Tim scaring everyone, including Shawn from Boy Meets World in a cameo appearance, with his "Catacombs of Terror". A very hilarious episode that is - brace yourself - 19 years old. Wow.

6. Friends: The One With the Halloween Party - I love Friends! And what's better than when all the friends get together for a party at Monica's? I realize that she might not be the most fun-loving character in the bunch, but she's my favorite. In this episode, we have a showdown between Catwoman (Monica) and Supergirl (Phoebe), Joey dressed as Chandler, Ross dressed as a satellite/potato (Spud-nik), and Chandler dressed as a giant bunny. Hey, maybe he should have gotten together with Jill from Home Improvement. Plus, Phoebe's twin Ursula shows up and she is engaged to Sean Penn! The best moment though, is when Gunther arrives at the party dressed as Charlie Brown. Perfection!

7. 8 Simple Rules: Trick or Treehouse - This episode from season one is just good family fun. The girls are too old to want to participate in Paul's Halloween traditions, and Rory is more interested in toilet papering the neighborhood than having a family camp out in the backyard treehouse. Of course everything ends up perfect at the end of the night since this is a sitcom, and it's a nice show to look back on since less than a year after this aired, the world lost John Ritter, the patriarch of the Hennessey household and a very talented comedian.

8. The Worst Witch - This is a children's made-for-TV movie from 1986, starring Tim Curry, Charlotte Rae, and 12-year-old Fairuza Balk that my sister and I watched over and over again as children. There is something entertaining and endearing about young Mildred, a witch-in-training who has nothing but trouble with every spell she tries to cast.

9. Everybody Loves Raymond: Halloween Candy - Frank is left at Ray's home to pass out candy to trick-or-treaters and runs out. He looks through the kitchen and thinks that he has discovered some chocolate coins. Wait Frank, not so fast! Uh oh, too late. When Ray and Debra come home, they find out that Frank had actually passed out condoms to all of the neighborhood children. As if Debra's life wasn't hard enough before Halloween! A very funny episode!

10. Modern Family: Halloween - I love everything about this show, and this episode is so good it's worth watching again every October. Gloria speaks in a weird English accent, Mitchell is stuck at work in a Spiderman costume, and Phil becomes paranoid that Claire is leaving him. Really, Phil, who else would be patient enough to put up with you? And then there's Cameron, traumatized by his childhood "accident" in front of the whole town, who is pretty much the highlight of every episode. Funny, in an episode centered around a children's holiday, I don't really remember the kids' roles in this episode at all...

Tuesday's Top Ten - 80s Sitcoms

"What would you do if I sang out of tune/ Would you stand up and walk out on me/ Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song/ And I'll try not to sing out of key." - "A Little Help From My Friends", Joe Cocker version and theme song to "The Wonder Years"

For those of you who may not have been around for the 80s, they were a decade of day-glo clothing, awful hairstyles (the mullet, Jheri Curl, Flock of Seagulls!), valley girl slang, and last but not least, fantastic sitcoms. As a card carrying TV junkie, I thought I would dedicate this post to my top ten favorite sitcoms of the decade I was born and raised in. I realize that some of these shows may have started in the 70s or ran into the 90s, but they are still so totally 80s! Are your favorites on the list?

1. "The Wonder Years" - I absolutely LOVE this show and am so upset it isn't available on DVD. Fred Savage was perfect as Kevin Arnold, the boy next door that had a geeky best friend named Paul, was in love with Winnie Cooper, and had to put up with his terrible older brother, Wayne, the worst character on any show, ever! Set in the 1960s/70s when music was great, cars had muscle, and the Vietnam War was in full swing, this show spoke to my realization that I had been born in the wrong generation and I would have been a hippie like Kevin's sister, Karen, if I had been born 30 years sooner.

2. "Growing Pains" - Two words - Mike Seaver. What girl didn't love Kirk Cameron's cool, goofy, always getting into trouble but still a good guy character? He was the whole reason to watch the show. He may have had bad taste in friends (Boner Stabbone, really?) and not gotten the best grades, but it was obvious that the guy was smart and charming, and he won over the hearts of pretty much every girl in America. One of my favorite Mike Seaver episodes was when he and Dr. Jason Seaver (gotta use the full name!) went to see Bruce Springsteen in concert. Go ahead and belt out "Born in the USA". I'll wait, and maybe sing along.

3. "Family Ties" - This show was so great, and still is! The kids were all fantastic, especially Michael J. Fox as the super-preppy Alex P. Keaton (the P. stood for Peace!), the antithesis to his liberal formerly hippie parents. Then there was boy-crazy, shopping obsessed Mallory, and smart toyboy Jennifer, who I discovered was actually pretty funny as I have watched the reruns as an adult. Later on there was adorable little Andy of course, but the show belonged to Alex. Anyone remember the episode when he took speed? It was so he could stay up and study, of course, but it was kind of funny to see the president of the Young Republicans go a little crazy.

4. "Kate and Allie" - This show never gets the credit it deserves. It was all about two childhood friends who move in together after getting divorces and raise their three kids together. They were a very unconvential family, but it showed that with a little creativity, hard work, and humor, people can come together and get through anything, coming out even better in the end. I just loved Susan St. James's character, Kate McArdle. She was fun, spunky, and always said, "fabulous!" really dramatically, which I remember copying when I was a kid. She was the perfect opposite for Allie Lowell, the pearl-wearing, high strung, formerly upper-crust Connecticut socialite played by the brilliantly hilarious Jane Curtin.

5. "Full House" - Okay, this may not have been a show with the most believable storylines or the best acting in the whole world, but when this show premiered in 1987, it was my all-time favorite. I was in Kindergarten, about the same age as Stephanie, and she was my favorite of the Tanner kids. Then there was awesome big sister DJ, and the adorable Michelle. Yes, she got annoying as the series went on, but as a baby and toddler, the Olsen twins were the cutie pies of "Full House". Oh yeah, and living in the room across the hall complete with pink bunnies on the wallpaper, was Uncle Jesse. John Stamos was the cool rock and roll playing, motorcycle riding uncle, and I especially loved that he played with the Beach Boys. In real life! Remember when his band, The Rippers, ditched him for Barry Williams (Greg Brady) of all people? How rude!

6. "The Cosby Show" - You can't go wrong with the Huxtables! Our favorite Jell-o pudding peddler was always hilarious, and I still enjoy watching this show now. It just doesn't get old! The five kids were all great during the first few seasons (Vanessa got on my nerves later on in the series), especially Denise. I also loved the spin-off, "A Different World", even though she was only on for one season. One of my favorite Cosby episodes featuring Denise (played by Lisa Bonet) was when she made that hideous, funky shirt for Theo. A classic!

7. "WKRP in Cincinatti" - I have not seen every episode ever created like I have with the other shows on this list, but I love it enough to put it in my top 10. Dr. Johnny Fever, the cool, most likely always stoned deejay was the best, and I wish that more seasons would become available on DVD. For those of you who don't know, before coming to WKRP, Johnny Fever was fired from a radio station for saying the word booger. I like to think that Tom Petty's "The Last DJ" is about this character. So funny! As I go on to the next show on my list, I will leave you with these parting words: "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!" That's from the Turkey's Away episode in Season One. It's available on iTunes, and I highly recommend it.

8. "The Facts of Life" - Jo, Blair, Natalie, Tootie, and Mrs. Garrett. What's not to love? Set in a girls' school with the wise Mrs. Garrett to watch over the four stars, this sitcom was so much fun. Jo Polniaczek (Nancy McKeon) was my favorite because she was street smart and tough, not stuck up and frilly like Blair Warner (Lisa Welchel), who was my least favorite. I also liked Natalie a little later on when I watched this in reruns because she wanted to be a writer. My interests in writing, music, and TV didn't really change much over the years...

9. "Who's the Boss?" - Tony Micelli, of course! Yes, Angela Bower was technically his boss, but Tony ran the house, took care of the kids, and solved the problems. Hmm, I wonder why I liked him the best? Maybe that was some weird foreshadowing into my future job as a nanny... Okay, everyone who remembers this show as well as I do, say it with me: "Ay-oh! Oh-ay!" Gotta love Tony Danza!

10. "Mr. Belvedere" - I remember loving this show when I was a kid, the youngest Owens child, Wesley, in particular, and I discovered when rewatching the first season on DVD recently, that nothing has changed. This is a fantastic show! Wesley is the charming little trouble maker who is always testing poor Mr. Belvedere's patience, and I think I may love it even more now than I did in the 80s when I watched it as a very young child. You never know how shows or movies will really be when the last time you watched them was 20 years ago when you were in elementary school, but this one has stood the test of time for me. Also, I think Mr. Belvedere, the Owen's housekeeper, may be my kindered spirit. He takes care of the kids, always knows how to solve their problems, understands each of them like no one else does, manages the house, and even writes in his journal every night before he goes to bed. Let's see... A professional nanny/house manager who likes to write. Sound familiar?

I hope you enjoyed this blast from the past! I sure did!